Dear
Swamiji,
Whenever
I mediate on you, a few of my experiences come to surface; whenever winds of doubt
disturb, these experiences calm me and hold me steady in my faith. I would like
to share these experiences with devotees. As is my wont, I have to start at the
very beginning. From the very first time I met you I wanted to know who you
were and what the nature and source of your power was. You gave me countless
opportunities to observe you. In Dubai, I attended many pujas
and saw you perform many miracles. Devotees gave different explanations about
the nature of your power. Yet, I was not convinced. At my brother's wedding, I
realized the weakness of my faith when I did not introduce you to anybody. You understood
and forgave. Then I reasoned with you, within me, that I needed an experience within
me to realize that you were indeed my guru. Till then you were a holy man having
said that, I was at peace. Then with infinite compassion you came to Kuwait,
having sent us there. As if by magic, you drew several people to you like a
magnet; as Baba says, your sparrows tied by string to their feet. One of these
devotees had brought oranges for you. After they left, I felt that what they
brought for you with love should be partaken by you and so I made orange juice
for you. You drank the juice and beckoned me near. I fell at your feet. At the
touch of your hand on my head I remembered my old question and the answer came
from deep within me, "I am Brahman." It was in your voice. As I
searched within, I heard it coming from all around. I looked at you in
amazement and then you spoke, "Yes, I had to bring you to Kuwait to give
you this experience". After that day I must have acted strangely for some
time because of the shock of that experience. But the wonder of that
experience, the truth that the sadguru reveals all
knowledge became clear. It was an experience of antaryami
It is a thick string that binds this kite to you.
One
of my favourite experiences, which had a strong influence on me, is associated
with Sri Ramana Maharishi. Someone had given us a
book on the life of Bhagavan Ramana
Maharishi; that he taught through silence fascinated me. I wanted this
experience; I prayed to you for this experience. You granted this prayer on one
of your visits to Kuwait.
One
evening there was a grand puja. After the puja, you sent home the devotees with
a feeling of peace, hope, and joy. Everyone had left. The children went to bed.
My husband and I sat quietly at your feet. The old longing for a teaching in
silence came upon me. You looked at me and remarked that a painting and a
painted plate in the hall were very beautiful. I chose the painting. As I
looked at it the figures in the frame started moving. I could not make out what
they were doing. Then I heard your voice within me. You asked me to look carefully.
I peered at it but still could not understand. You said that it was because I
was far from God. I was upset but continued. "How do I get closer?" I
asked. "Follow your husband," you said. After that the figures stopped
moving. My husband too stirred. I thought perhaps I had imagined the whole
thing. Then you spoke aloud, "Whatever has to be said is said". Though
your words were like an arrow to my ego, I felt only happy. I had got my
experience and after all the instructions was very simple! I did
not have to climb Mount Everest. That night, both my husband and I were filled
with a strange joy. I have never shared this experience with anyone as my pride
was hurt. Perhaps it has healed now and that is why I am writing. Your words
led me on to a sadhana that led me deep into myself.
They strengthened my faith and made us closer as a couple. But that is another
story. From that day, Sri Ramana Maharishi and you
are one for me
.
Love
and pranam,
Mrs. Radha Venkatesh, Bengaluru