SRI RAMA JAYAM
With Swamiji's blessings, I wish to pen my experiences and feelings.
TVAMEVA MATA CHA PITHA TVAMEVA
TVAMEVA BANDHUSH CHA SAKHAA TVAMEVA;
TVAMEVA VIDYA DRAVINAM TVAMEVA
TVAMEVA SARVAM MAMA DEVADEVA..
Swamiji , you are everything for me
I yearned for a Sadguru in my life ,consequent to a lean patch of life that I was going through in 1995.A friend of mine would often narrate the stories of guru charitra and talk of Sadguru, a concept which was alien to me at that time ,but the oft repeated stories that I was told and the constant references of a Sadguru which I happened to hear those days generated a desire to find a guru who could guide me in life. It was through my friend, Praveena, that I first heard about Swamiji in early 1997.
In mid-1997, as I was carrying my second child, I experienced lot of varied dreams , one of which was of a vivid "Hanuman", whom I was praying:As I mentioned to Praveena she informed that her friends near her home sang bhajans and recited Hanuman Chalisa every Thursday and I could contact them and attend the same. So, I contacted the family and not knowing then that they were Swamiji's devotees and singing his bhajans, I started attending the Thursday bhajans regularly at Mr.Venkatesh's residence. In retrospect- I have realized that Swamiji had been with me -helping and protecting me during that period ,when we were going through a lot of ups and downs especially on my health front.
One day in Jan.1998 (in my 8th month) I started having severe pains and Praveena gave us Swamiji's Madras number and suggested that we contact Him. We were truly amazed when He lifted the phone and told us everything would be o.k. in 3-4 days time-and so it did. Swamiji needed no introductions about us nor about our problem-it was as though He knew everything about us!
Similarly, Swarniji ,during a puja was distributing photo's of God's which the hosts had wrapped and kept inside their cupboard. As He was giving Shiva's photo to a devotee, He looked at me and said Shiva would come to my house and we would be worshipping Him (Lord Shiva).At that instant I couldn't comprehend anything and I was surprised, as till then other than doing "Ganesh puja" and visiting temples occasionally, we had never done any puja as such. But after the birth of my second child, the first gift he got was a gold locket of Shiva and Parvati (incidentally my child's star is Arudra) ,and it has so happened that we have been visiting pilgrim spots associated with Lord Shiva like Srisailam. Rameswaram etc. and indeed performing pujas there, something which we had never envisaged before..
Afier meeting Swamiji we found that things which until then were not working out despite our efforts, seemed to be sorting out to suit our convenience and requirements Even during our various trips/travels we found that despite initial hitches, things seemed to be going smoothly and often we realized that some stranger would come forward to guide or help us. I realized that "God comes to us many form and it is for us to realize Him" as Swamiji constantly tells devotees.
So far I realized my belief in God was at an abstract and conceptual level. But under Swamiji's guidance 1 have realized that God is always with us and we need to have fril 100% faith in Him. -a realization which has come to me through my experiences (subsequent to meeting Swamjji)on various occasions, in different situations and circumstances, each experience reinforcing and strengthening my belief, faith and devotion.
One meeting with Swamiji somehow transforms one's life in so many ways and leads us on to a righteous path. He makes us aware and experience in a very short span that there is God- a supreme power who watches every act/thought/feeling of ours-nothing is concealed from Him-Swamiji conveys the message of presence of God and His love in a simple, lucid and endearing manner !He has a remarkable sense of humour and often as He recounts and narrates various incidents in a lighter vein, he brings joy and cheer to everybody.
In Feb.1998 we got an opportunity to meet Him for the first time at Mr.Venkatesh's residence-which proved to be a turning point in my life! Those days I used to be very worried and anxious about my delivery and health etc. but Throughout the puja Swamiji in his soft , compassionate and loving manner kept reassuring me that everything would be fine and that my mother would come for the delivery and give me strength. Just hearing His words gave me lot of confidence and strength. He also advised me to continue with the injections as they would be beneficial for me. I used to take iron injections as my hemoglobin was less, but with His blessings just a week before the delivery-miraculously my hemoglobin level went up enabling me to undergo my ceaserean without any complication.
I)uring the puja He looked at me and told I had only 50% faith in Him ,and at that moment I realized that my Soul too was bare before Him and He could reach even the innermost recess of my mind ,thoughts and feelings .1 realized that He could read me and knows everything about me that I can never know about myself !At that instant I felt God indeed was in front of me! I could feel his Divinity and I was also touched by his loving concern for everyone .His humbleness left a deep imprint on my mind and in my life. I came out of the puja feeling much lighter and confident as though all my worries had been lifted off me in one stroke!
I also got an opportunity to attend a few more pujas and each time I experienced a lot of energy flowing into me in His presence. During one of the pujas He mentioned that in my puja room Lord Shiva's photo was first on the left side .1 realized subsequently that in my present house, where we have a puja room, Lord Shiva's photo was indeed the first photo from the left side, a fact which I noticed months after setting up the puja room. This again was the first time I experienced the phrase "beyond time and space", which I have often read only in books.
During His second visit in Sept/Oct 1998-He came to our house and lit the lamp and sang bhajans- a moment which brought immense joy and happiness to us. By lighting the lamp, I felt, He was leading us into light from darkness and guiding us to a spiritual and righteous path.
Subsequently each puja that I have attended has been learning experience-helping me to grow and evolve as an individual in many ways that I have never ever dreamt of at any given time! As Swamijji addresses all people attending the puja -either for the first time or regular devotees-showing so much concern, warmth and love, comforting and assuring one and all as He talks about their lives/problems/desires/aspirations, and at times gently and subtly chiding devotees like a parent and bringing them round to tell the truth. He indeed a rich spiritual experience, which one has to experience. As he talks and guides the people, very often I find a message and solution to my doubts and problems and also experienced lot of healing within me. Although the pujas continue into the early hours of dawn, at the end of them I feel so fresh and energetic which cannot be rationally explained. The bhajans sung by Swamiji in His divine voice touch a chord within me and the vibrations generate lot of energy and a feeling of bliss and joy! Even at other times when I feel low or disturbed merely listening to His bhajans brings a feeling of serenity and tranquility and I soon snap out of my mood.
Here I would like to recall a particular puja in 1999, which is etched in my memory. During the puja Swamiji asked a small girl (around 10 yrs old) named Neelakshi, to dance. The girl who seemed shy and quite -got up and did a few dance steps which were very graceful. And again she was asked a couple of times more to dance which she didso willingly, it was a real pleasure to see her dance. Swamiji felt so happy and blessed her and casually asked her what she would give in retutn-and in a small , clear voice she answered that "she would pray to God for His(Swamiji's)long life!" an answer which was so genuine and touching that drew an instant applause from every body. As one devotee remarked it was "Bramha speaking" Such lofty and beautiful thought from a child moved me deeply.
Recently, I also had the wonderful experience of talking with him in the "chat room" in his web site, which was so thrilling, when I saw Him replying to my message. I could scarcely believe my eyes when I first read His message and was so overjoyed beyond expression He brings untold and immeasurable happiness to each and every devotee in so many ways making each one feel so special in His own way. As one shares and relates their own respective experiences it brings such lasting joy to the heart. As I read the experiences of the devotees, I have always felt that they too are echoing the same sentiments and feelings which we all experience with Him.
Swamiji, I feel so grateful for your prayers, blessings, guidance and constant presence in my life-the strength, confidence and bliss you have given me-mere words fail to convey the depth of my feelings and gratitude. There are so many instances I can recall when you have helped me -I can just go on and on! Each day unfolds itself with your Divine blessings and presence-even in the most minute manner4 can feel that you have arranged each day to suit my convenience and for my highest good! You have so kindly heard my prayers and guided me along not only in my waking hours but also by appearing in my dreams and providing solutions each time I am confronted with a dilemma!
Here I would like to share a small poem, which was on a card I received on lst Jan.1999 and which somehow I felt was an answer and a special message from Swamiji to the various doubts and questions which would constantly besiege me. It is titled;
I ASKED FOR STRENGTH
AND GOD GAVE ME DIFFICULTIES TO MAKE ME STRONG
I ASKED FOR WISDOM
AND GOD GAVE ME PROBIEMS TO SOLVE.
I ASKED FOR PROSPERFTY
AND GOD GAVE ME BRAWN AND BRAIN TO WORK
I ASKED FOR COURAGE
AND GOD GAVE ME DANGERS TO OVERCOME
I ASKED FOR LOVE
AND GOD GAVE ME TROUBLED PEOPLE TO HANDLE.
I ASKED FOR FAVOURS
AND GOD GAVE ME OPPORTUNITIES.
I RECEIVED NOTIHNG I WANTED
AND EVERYTHING I NEEDED.
MY PRAYER HAS BEEN ANSWERED.
Swamiji, I am very grateful to you for helping me to look at life in a more positive manner .1 pray that more and more people get an opportunity to meet you and experience your Divinity and your love. I would also like to acknowledge my gratitude to Praveena, Radha and Mr.Venkatesh for guiding me to Swamiji.
JAI SRI RAM VIKRAMAN SWAMIJI KI JAI SADGURU MAHARAJ KI JAI